Buzz A Roni

I’ve been a bit down this past week, and that’s what I’m blaming on my lack of real posts. I think it’s a combination of my birthday and my hormones.  I have a lot to say, but no gumption to sit here and type it out. I’m  working on feeling better, especially since two very special days are coming up… Fae’s birthday on Sunday, and my wedding anniversary on Tuesday.   It doesn’t help that Liam’s cutting another tooth and has been completely miserable.   Instead of writing about this  stuff, I’ll spare you and write “normally” any day now!

In My Birthday Card, originally uploaded by margievz.

This made my whole day…

I’m giving the kids a bath earlier tonight.  It was supposed to be a bath for Liam, but Fae doesn’t want to miss a trick.

I used the washcloth on Liam, then let it go into the water.  I didn’t realize that he grabbed it.  Fae, of course, noticed, and brought to my attention that he had the washcloth in his mouth and was sucking on it.

“Mom, is that safe?”

Before she gave me a chance to answer, she added, “With our butts in the water?”

Yea, I yanked that thing out of his mouth in a flash!

Today, Liam is 9 months old.

I remember when I posted about Fae becoming 9 months, and I got a really cool comment from someone (unfortunately, I can’t remember from whom).  She said, and I paraphrase, “She’s now been outside of your body for as long as she’s been inside”.

So it goes for Liam.

Happy 9 months, buddy!

He is my very serious and contemplative boy.  His smiles are not given freely, they must be earned (unless you are Fae).  You can tickle him, or dance like a monkey in front of him, but if you are not dancing like a SPECIFIC TYPE of monkey, he won’t smile.  He’s that serious.

But oh boy, when he does smile, he lights up the room.  It’s quite dashing with his three-toothed grin.

He’s definitely a Momma’s boy.  Sometimes I love it, sometimes I don’t.  I love it when he buries his head into my neck, or tries to bite my nose.  I love it when he plays peek-a-boo, or giggles when I blow raspberries on his tummy.  I even love it when it seems like I’m the only one who can console him… sometimes.

At this age, Fae would go to anyone.  She’s still open and friendly like that.  Liam will not go to anyone else.  Sometimes he even has problems with Bill, but only when he’s tired.  When we were in NY visiting Bill’s family, my sister in law Patty was going to watch Liam while Bill and I took Fae to see “Kung Fu P@nd@”.  My SIL, who has watched children her entire life, couldn’t get Liam to warm up to her.  So guess who got to see the movie with Fae?  I’ll give you a hint:  it wasn’t me.

He will crawl across the floor sobbing until he gets to my feet, which he will grab onto as if it’s a lifesaver thrown into a stormy sea.

He still doesn’t sleep through the night.  That’s not fun.

He’s pulling up on everything, whether or not it will hold his weight.  He’s learning to clap his hands, though at this point, it’s more like clapping his forearms.  If you sing, he gets happy and starts making noise.  He growls at Fae when she growls at him.  They are funny to watch… they have growling contests… who can growl the loudest.  Fun to watch, but it taxes the eardrums when we’re in the car.

He’s an amazing little boy.  I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

You would think at my age I would know better.  I still have the over-active imagination that allows me to freak myself out enough that I won’t sleep with any body part overhanging the edge of the bed.  You know.  Just in case the monsters try to reach out from under the bed and grab me.

Better to be safe, right?

Lately I’ve been having these recurring dreams that one of my parents have just died.  It’s weird, since my Dad passed in ‘94 and my Mom went in 2001.  It’s bad when you wake up with crusties in the corner of your eyes… you know you were crying in your sleep.

I don’t know why I’m doing this.  It’s really awful.  The feelings in the dream are so real… the heartbreak and the crying.  Last night I saw the indentation of her body in the pillows, and it was just awful.

I don’t like having these dreams.  I’d like to know why I am having them.  Is it my own mortality making me worry about being there for my kids?  Or could it be the fact that I wish my kids could have known my parents as their grandparents?

Lately I’ve had issues with my sister and her lack of desire to be anything for my kids.  I know I live a long way from her (practically a three hour drive), but there needs to be a way for her presence in their lives.  When we were driving through my hometown two weeks ago on our way to NY state, I called her to let her know, but they were going to a garden center.  I ranked below a garden center.  I also got an email from her last week that she was having her son’s graduation party on Fae’s birthday.  I really don’t want to pack Fae in the car for a 6 hour trip (both ways) on her birthday.  I want it to be a fun day for her, not another long car trip.  (Then I think about how close I was to Mike, my nephew who’s graduated, and I feel guilty).  When I showed Fae photos of my family members, she recognized her Uncle Pete, but not her aunt.  This all just adds up to me being very sad about it lately.

I’m sure I’ll get over it and this melancholy and the bad dreams will go away.  Guess I just need to take a road-trip (but not on Fae’s birthday) and do the visiting myself.

Today we went to the library. It’s usually a bit stressful, because Fae is used to staying a while and playing the children’s section, but since Liam came along, that really doesn’t happen anymore because after a few minutes, Liam’s ready to go and letting us know about it. We run around looking for books and using the potty (she ALWAYS has to go!) in a quarter of the time we used to take.

I had a different plan today. I was going to take Liam out of the stroller.  That should give us more time, since all he wants to do these days is crawl. Of course, as soon as we got there Fae had to go to the bathroom, so we did that. Then I did a quick perusal of the new book section, and we headed for the children’s area. Fae went back to the play area, while Liam and I went into the short stacks where the kid’s books are shelved. I took him out of the stroller and sat him on the floor, and then I sat down next to him. I started going through the books, while he tried to climb the shelves. Once in a while, he’d pull out a book and I’d put it back, and he’d pull it out again.

I called to Fae, and she said, “I’m ok, Mama” and as soon as he heard her voice, he was off. She was playing with some trucks they have there, and was quietly talking to them, and he heard her. He was on a mission. Only once did he look back to see if I was following him. It was so cute! He army crawled all the way to her!

There’s a big wood tree in the play area. It has a hole (kind of like an owl hole) cut into the side, but it looks as though they closed it up, because I’ve seen plenty of kids, including mine, standing on a chair to play with puppets through the hole. Even the puppets are gone. That didn’t stop Fae from trying to put on a puppet show for Liam. She stood behind the tree with only her hands sticking out from the tree. She was making her hands “talk” to Liam. Of course, he wasn’t interested in the show, he wanted to go behind the tree with Fae. She took that as he wanted to chase her, so she started running around giggling like crazy. Liam was all smiles as he crawled to get her. Finally they ended up in front of a “funhouse” mirror. We all cracked up as Liam continued to try to bite his reflection.

As we laughed at Liam’s growls and giggles, I had this incredible feeling that I was doing what I am supposed to be doing. And I felt silly for having all those crazy thoughts before Liam was born about Fae not liking her brother when he arrives. So being so jealous or feeling so displaced. She loves him. And the more active he becomes, the more she gets into him. Of course, there are going to be plenty of times she’s going to wish she doesn’t have a brother, but today, at the library wasn’t one of those days.

I think my heart grew a little bit today.

Four days til my son turns 9 months old, and today he decides to start pulling himself up to stand.

Yesterday, I caught him trying to pull himself up while in the crib. The crib is still in newborn position.  I said to Bill that he needs to help me lower the crib so that if Liam stands up he won’t fall out.  Bill took care of that last night before we put Liam to bed.  Today, Liam wakes from his nap, and Fae walks into his room ahead of me and yells “MOMMY!  Look!”

There he was, standing in the corner, crying at us while standing up!  Fae and I did a little happy dance (it’s fun how she gets excited at his milestones.  I swear she can’t wait til he starts walking so that he can chase her!)  So, for the rest of the day, Liam would stand up.  It didn’t matter if the item he was using to stand up was sturdy or not.  He just wanted to stand.

Fae and I also ran around the house sticking protector plugs into the outlets because Liam keeps trying to stick his fingers in the sockets!  This boy keeps me on my toes!

I’ve heard from friends that all this crazy stuff is a boy thing.  I’m starting to believe it.  We were at a playdate yesterday and everyone had fun.  On of the Mom’s has a son who turned two in April.  He was out playing with all the kids, while the Moms were all hanging out on the patio.  Suddenly we hear screams, and the Mom jumps up because her Mommy radar informed her that the screams were coming from her son.  I was shocked when she brought him on the patio.  He had a goose-egg on his forehead, and that goose-egg had a raised circle on that!  Apparently, he got hit with a baseball bat (but for the life of me, I can’t figure out how he got two bumps like that from a baseball bat), and he did it to himself.  I would have taken him to the hospital.  But because it’s a boy, you don’t always do things like that I guess.  He stopped crying, and within moments, he wanted to go outside again to play!  I was so concerned that I left a message for her on the boards we use asking how he was, and she says he’s excited about it.  She said he couldn’t wait to show his Dad, like it was a badge of honor.

Man, I think I feel faint.  Is that what I have to look forward to?   I don’t know if I can handle it! Hehehe

Water Girl, originally uploaded by margievz.

You guys have no idea what it means to me to look at this photo, and see the smile on her face.

It was taken at my sister in law’s house last week when we were visiting. Patty said to bring her swimsuit, but I didn’t think Fae would be interested more than just sticking her toes in the water. She’s so against getting her face wet, and still dislikes washing her hair, that I thought it would be a futile attempt to get her in the pool.

Well. Patty went to the dollar store and picked up this Spiderman ring. That was the first thing she did right. Secondly, she found this life vest thing that she put on Fae, and there was no way that kid was gonna sink! Third, my brother in law John did his thing. He’s always been a quiet man of few words (at least while I’ve known him), but Fae adores him. He gently coaxed her into the pool, and let her go at her own pace. She started out on the raft, then slowly moved into the water. When she started kicking around on her own, well, that’s when I nearly started to cry.

You have to understand, I nearly drowned twice when I was a kid. Once, when I was at a friend’s pool… I couldn’t have been 5 yet. I got stuck in front of the jet that blows the filtered water back into the pool and lost my footing. (at least that’s how I remember it). I still can see the light on the water above me as I was floundering underneath the surface. Everyone thought I was swimming, until my friend’s Mom realized I wasn’t coming up for air!

Determined to help me learn to swim, my father enrolled me in swim classes at the local Catholic Youth Center. The instructor was an old Irish guy. I remember his shocking white hair and red bulbous nose. He got mad at me one day because I just couldn’t get the nerve to float, so he wrapped two egg shaped styrofoam (?) floats around my ankles and pushed me away from him. Needless to say, my feet floated, but my head went under the water. He waited a while before he realized I wasn’t getting it.

So, today, I really can’t swim. Almost. If your life depended on me jumping in to save you, well, you’re a goner. BUT. When I met Bill, we were staying at a hotel once while being transferred to a new town. This hotel had a pool, and we took advantage of it. He was determined to teach me to swim. He played the “If You Trust Me” trump card. So I learned the doggie paddle. But that’s it.

Weird thing is, I’ll go in the ocean at the shore. That doesn’t scare me. Maybe it’s because both of my “incidents” occurred in a pool. Who knows. I’ve always been strange!

When I saw Fae take to the water as quickly as she did, I was thrilled. I don’t want her to pick up on my fear, since she’s like a little sponge right now. I was happy that her first experience “swimming” was a good one. Now I need to get her into a class.

I just registered online for my second class for the Fall semester.  I’m feeling a bit nervous.  I originally registered for a Biology class (Anatomy & Physiology) to take online.  That evening, I get an email from the teacher asking if I was sure I wanted to do the class online, because it was extremely intensive.  I went back online to check the “classroom” classes, and found one.  I tried to register, but I needed a new pin number for the fall semester.  I immediately emailed my adviser and she replied this morning.  Along with the pin number, she said, “Good luck in this very important class”.

Man.  The pressure.  I get that it’s important and intensive, but wouldn’t it be better if I went in not knowing that?  I think so.  This is one of the first classes that are specific for the medical studies.  I’m actually very excited about it, really.

I am taking the class on campus.  It’ll be Fridays.  They have childcare available, so I need to figure out how to get Fae and Liam hooked up.  I’m feeling a bit sad and guilty about having to put them there.  I know Fae will have fun, but I don’t know about Liam.

My other class, which I’ll be taking online, is pre-algebra.  It’s gonna be a fun semester.